Ban men's nipples?

I am not going to start this blog by decrying the recent warm and sunny weather, especially not after the last year of continuous rain, but it has undoubtedly had its drawbacks too.

The sun certainly does make me feel better and it certainly encourages me to reach for my Bumper Book of Cliches to remind everyone that 'if the weather was always like this, no one would ever go abroad.'

That's a ridiculous statement really because the weather is never going to be sunny and warm for very long in this country.

So we book our holidays in the sun just to be on the safe side.

Walking through the city during the last few days and I saw the bad side of nice weather.

I was at work for some of it, which is always a drag, but at least I was fully dressed. I cannot say the same thing of all of my fellow human beings.

This is not going to be a sly dig at the legions of overweight women, propelling prams and pushchairs, whilst simultaneously devouring a product from Greggs (other high fat takeways are available) and smoking.

This is no mean feat and is, once more, proof that women are far more able to multitask than us mere males.

I'd be desperately concerned at the prospect at casually inhaling a chunk of swede or biting through the filter of a Lambert and Butler. But that's just me!

Anyway, what I found most unsettling was bare chested men.

Now I am as broadminded as you can get.

I have sunbathed on beaches - reluctantly, obviously - whilst women have displayed their wares for the rays to do their work. In fact, I have often advocated such behaviour should be compulsory but I have a real issue with young (and not always young) men revealing their torsos in public.

Most of them are young and relatively slim, or even thin, and few possess a six pack (to be fair my six pack is more likely to be half a dozen cans of Thatchers Gold) but as soon as the temperature exceeds 10c, off comes the T shirt.

They are usually with female partner and frequently with child.

I can only guess that there are one of two reasons they behave like this: one that it's less hot being semi-naked and secondly that they think they look attractive.

Perhaps I am being unkind and that they do look attractive to a certain group of females or worse still I am merely jealous.

But I can't say I enjoy the site of male nipples as I carefully scour the clothes section of T K Maxx.

Don't get me wrong - men's nipples have their place (although I am not clear where that place is given their general uselessness) - but I would suggest the streets of Bristol is not that place.

For my next campaign, it's the immediate banning of men's nipples in public.

It worked with smoking so the next step is obvious, isn't it?