Not as better as I thought I was

I'm not really as better as I thought I was.

Of course, grammatically that sentence is all wrong but who cares?

I am definitely a whole lot better mentally than I was a year ago which is as a result of a joint effort by my loved ones, my psychotherapist, my anti-depressant tablets and my employer (locally).

I've been gradually cutting back on the drugs and although my moods are swinging again, there are more shades of grey instead of black and white.

But something at work - and I cannot talk about work because I am not allowed to - has made me realise that whilst I am better than I was I am not really as better as I thought I was.

I try hard to be a good honest person with decent principles but it seems that doesn't matter in the real world where bad dishonest people with no principles can have us over while the rest of us go hang.